But no, in reality all that could ever last are memories..or was it about to fade as well? Lost in her wandering thoughts and vague mutterings that made her even more helpless. Looking for the horrible "the end" sign as maybe, a solid proof that it was really getting nowhere and that surely, it is dead end.
She needed her life back. She's running out of time. No matter how long she waited doesn't mean it will stop or wait for her. She just needed to push harder to get up even when she felt like burying herself in those comforting sheets that witnessed almost everything she was for the past few months. The sleepless nights, the endless tears, if only the pillows could talk, it would have told her,
"stop..he's not worth those tears.."
or that the sheets could give a warm embrace, and that it would whisper
"I'm always here for you.."
Sadly, no, they couldn't. They are all just deaf witnesses of her terrible collapsing moments. Non-living things don't talk, nor feel..but how ironic that they know how to stay. Yeah because they don't actually move. silly.
After all that heart-mind war inside her, she finally gets up, darted straight to the bathroom. Slowly turned on the shower knob and let the cold droplets devour over her skin while watching each drop as it swirls down the drain. Right then she hoped that her feelings would be all gone that easy, but it wasn't. Every day.. almost everytime before she leaves for work, she never miss to wear the very familiar mask she thought she'd never gonna wear again. That forced smile. Eventhough it's a fake one, no one will know it.
She was convinced just like everyone else around was.
..who stole her real smile away? him.
